And i'm feeling like walking on a tight rope
Swaying from left and right, trying to find my balance.
Felt so insecure and vulnerable once again.
Trying to write 400o words for dissertation draft the day before
Struggling to find bind my thoughts and write coherently
10 dollars left in my wallet Bank reserves at all time low
What i eat, how i commute
All took a toil in my head to plan
and make sure i can survive with that 10bucks
Kept thinking: "Money isn't everything, but without money, is really quite a headache"
Constantly remind myself to just let go and trust in the Lord.
Well, at least i have 10 bucks and not 10cents.
Went to help out set up the City Exhibition at Vivo
Decided to catch the last bus back to Boon Lay..
not enough for cab anyway.
The bus 30 ride back was unexpectedly rewarding.
It weave through the coastal estates of the west,
the old neighbourhood estates of Jurong
Watching the industrial estate glitters in the far distance
And quite landscape passing by..
It's really quite a nice feeling.
Oh...i think it's the start of the hungry ghost festival
People lighting up candles and lined the streets
Burning incense paper that has the nostalgic smell lingering in the air
As i reached Boon Lay Interchange, I was making a decision between
taking a $8 cab back (use nets) or just walk back.
Somehow, strangely, there was an urge to make that night walk.
No regrets. It was peaceful and therapeutic.
Watching the town in shut down mode, I see the ice-cream man packing up,
empty cabs cruising around and looking for their "preys",
empty streets and roads, and i simply enjoyed jaywalking.
>(insert...gosh...am writing this @ Vivo coffebean and it's annoyingly noisy!
An uncontrollable kid just cried non-stop at the atrium...)
Anyway, continuing...
I've walked 20mins before reaching Macs to grab a hot fudge sundae.
Remaining journey home was more familiar.
Thinking back, if I haven't been that barren in the pocket,
I wouldn't have experienced all these,
which is so un-ritualistic and unconventional of my hectic life.
Reminded me of how I used to walk back from the train station
back to the hostel in Korea.
Also about a 30mins walk.
Our dearest Father in heaven,
thank you for always giving me little pleasant surprises now and then
although it does comes with some "training" and "hardships"
But it meant something
To learn to not hold on too tightly to whatever plans i have
But just to let go and let You take charge.
Loving life and loving You. ~
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