My first full conf camp
Finally a "mission" that I've longed for have been accomplished
I've fought the good fight
Am truly touched, inspired and empowered by this camp
The experience, the friendships forged, communities formed,
relationship deepened and a renewal of relationship with Christ.
Drawn closer to Him
Touched by the Holy Spirit
Inspired and Enlightened by Wisdom
I was utterly unprepared
Going through the motions of spiritual preparation
He was so generous and He provided, abundantly.
His grace is sufficient.
Truly. And so undeserving I felt at times.
Prayed for a humble servant heart,
To be an instrument for Him during the camp.
Throughout the P&W sessions, I constantly felt a sense of heaviness and burden.
pressing on me and I felt so helpless but to keep praying and praying...for the confirmands.
I felt their brokenness, their pain, hurts, rejections, struggles, loneliness etc.
I wept with them.
These common tears shed truly helped us to open up to one another,
and most importantly to God.
We are all in this together.
Sinful and sorrowful at times,
Constantly seeking for healing and forgiveness.
I thank and praise God for this wonderful team of facils, p&w leaders and organising team.
Am so proud and heartened that we are able to run a Confirmation camp so successfully
For the first time, finally
After 5 years of labour and sowing.
Fr David (our founder), must really be smiling in heaven and like what Lillian shared on Friday, he has been praying for us. Thank you Fr.
And finally, my wish of really being on the ground to journey with the youths have been fulfilled too, esp through the 1-to-1 session.
And God, you are really funny.
You sent me all the really "tough cases" for me huh.
But thank you, if only you don't think so highly of me. =P
It is a challenge.
Sharing the burdens, the hurt, the brokenness by being a listening ear and a consoling heart = need a lot of strength, wisdom and prayer.
But really, this camp have given me a renewed strength to serve.
A stronger sense of mission, purpose and empowerment.
And I thank the confirmands for this experience.
I don't care whether it's just a moment of spiritual high,
but I'll just let it burn as strongly and as long as it can,
and inflame the rest along the way and let the fire go on.
Pass it on!
Now...looking forward to a wind-down / relaxing trip to Bali to further rejuvenate and recharge and be back to chiong till the end of the year!
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Listen...with your heart.
It's a difficult week.
Physically...which affects the psycho-spiritual aspect of me..
Just wish I have more time and faster ability to solve the design issues at work.
Praying for more strength to pull through this month, most importantly not to fall sick.
Somehow during low periods, I was able to hear Him more clearly (at times) too.
And sometimes, what He has to say to me is so "in the face". Just wish to share a few key "insights"
...
Friday, I rushed down to RCIY from work, more than 45mins late, but thought I should make an effort to just be there. No regrets. Then went up to the Yg Adults where they were listening to Fr William Goh's talk on Mass. Something he said struck me, made quite an impression.
FWG advocates LISTENing to the word of God proclaimed at Mass, instead of following the text and reading them. The power of Listening, which many have lost the "skill". This is how the holy scriptures were preached last time and people listened. To listen, one has to internalise and interiorise, and..Focus. Many a times, we might be just Hearing. Are we good listeners or just mere hearers? Do we listen to ourselves, to God and to others? At Mass today, I tried to practise listening to the Word, close my eyes and listen. Though a bit tired and sleepy already, it does help a bit, to not look at the words, and just practised a bit of Ignatian contemplation, to picture the scenes and the dialogues. Certainly more reverent, meditative and peaceful.
I thank God for giving me the gift of listening (hopefully not just hearing), providing an avenue to unload for my friends. And I appreciate those who have bothered to ask, listened to me and allowed me a chance to share and unload too at times.
...
Social Mission Conference 2012
Decided to sleep in and reached there during Tea Break. So needed that sleep.
But something happened to me the night before.
After church on Fri night, went home, bathed and was having my dinner in front of the TV, a bit worn out.
Halfway through my meal, a TV commerical of a programme which features a man (an Asian, Singaporean?) who uprooted and went to live with a improverish/needy community somewhere in Africa or something, and I think his family is staying there with him. Suddenly, I felt a gush of emotions and I couldn't helped but started to choke on my tears. What's up???...Perhaps I was touched by the compassionate act of that man, perhaps deep inside me, I really want to do something meaningful and what is needed out there. It's a call deep inside which I don't know what is it yet but I also know it's not a time to give up anything yet. Perhaps I can't let go and totally let God take control. But well, must meet the practical needs first I guess...Maslow Hierarchy of Needs...=P
So...going for this SMC meant a little something different after this brief emotional episode the night before.
To sum up and hopefully remind myself of what I take away from this conference:-
- Partnering the "poor" - empowering them instead of just giving.
- Social enterprise seemed to be the big word. For now, I'll just support them.
- Are we confident enough to receive? kind of like this phrase...we always think that we are better-off and only need to give.
- M.Teresa said, "God called us to be faithful, and not successful." And we must be faithful to our deepest calling in our hearts eventually. Perhaps when I meet my next "crisis", I might know what this deepest calling is.
There's so much we (I) can do to help, but.....
Like what Sr Geraldine jokingly shared with me, when are we not busy? there's no where in the corner of this Earth where we can be not busy...we are constantly in distress, and only sitting in front of the tabernacle can we only find ourselves at rest.
...
Am reading the book on "Changes that Heal".
Haven't touched it for a few days coz too tired to read on the train.
So I flipped open I think 2 days ago. And just when I needed it, the message jumped out strongly at me.
We all need to be bonded, attached to somebody. We want to belong to.
The yearn for the bonding and attachment is the yearn of love. The need to be loved.
Perhaps why I've been feeling a bit "dried-up". Not even making enough effort to bond and attach with the ultimate Lover of all. I missed the Love we shared. And definitely thirsty for more human love, to be bonded to friends and loved ones which I should be to cultivate a more healthy being in me.
Shall make the extra effort and constant reminders..!
But for now...I think I need to replenish my sleep and energy first.
And start exercising again to pump my blood to my heart better. +D
Physically...which affects the psycho-spiritual aspect of me..
Just wish I have more time and faster ability to solve the design issues at work.
Praying for more strength to pull through this month, most importantly not to fall sick.
Somehow during low periods, I was able to hear Him more clearly (at times) too.
And sometimes, what He has to say to me is so "in the face". Just wish to share a few key "insights"
...
Friday, I rushed down to RCIY from work, more than 45mins late, but thought I should make an effort to just be there. No regrets. Then went up to the Yg Adults where they were listening to Fr William Goh's talk on Mass. Something he said struck me, made quite an impression.
FWG advocates LISTENing to the word of God proclaimed at Mass, instead of following the text and reading them. The power of Listening, which many have lost the "skill". This is how the holy scriptures were preached last time and people listened. To listen, one has to internalise and interiorise, and..Focus. Many a times, we might be just Hearing. Are we good listeners or just mere hearers? Do we listen to ourselves, to God and to others? At Mass today, I tried to practise listening to the Word, close my eyes and listen. Though a bit tired and sleepy already, it does help a bit, to not look at the words, and just practised a bit of Ignatian contemplation, to picture the scenes and the dialogues. Certainly more reverent, meditative and peaceful.
I thank God for giving me the gift of listening (hopefully not just hearing), providing an avenue to unload for my friends. And I appreciate those who have bothered to ask, listened to me and allowed me a chance to share and unload too at times.
...
Social Mission Conference 2012
Decided to sleep in and reached there during Tea Break. So needed that sleep.
But something happened to me the night before.
After church on Fri night, went home, bathed and was having my dinner in front of the TV, a bit worn out.
Halfway through my meal, a TV commerical of a programme which features a man (an Asian, Singaporean?) who uprooted and went to live with a improverish/needy community somewhere in Africa or something, and I think his family is staying there with him. Suddenly, I felt a gush of emotions and I couldn't helped but started to choke on my tears. What's up???...Perhaps I was touched by the compassionate act of that man, perhaps deep inside me, I really want to do something meaningful and what is needed out there. It's a call deep inside which I don't know what is it yet but I also know it's not a time to give up anything yet. Perhaps I can't let go and totally let God take control. But well, must meet the practical needs first I guess...Maslow Hierarchy of Needs...=P
So...going for this SMC meant a little something different after this brief emotional episode the night before.
To sum up and hopefully remind myself of what I take away from this conference:-
- Partnering the "poor" - empowering them instead of just giving.
- Social enterprise seemed to be the big word. For now, I'll just support them.
- Are we confident enough to receive? kind of like this phrase...we always think that we are better-off and only need to give.
- M.Teresa said, "God called us to be faithful, and not successful." And we must be faithful to our deepest calling in our hearts eventually. Perhaps when I meet my next "crisis", I might know what this deepest calling is.
There's so much we (I) can do to help, but.....
Like what Sr Geraldine jokingly shared with me, when are we not busy? there's no where in the corner of this Earth where we can be not busy...we are constantly in distress, and only sitting in front of the tabernacle can we only find ourselves at rest.
...
Am reading the book on "Changes that Heal".
Haven't touched it for a few days coz too tired to read on the train.
So I flipped open I think 2 days ago. And just when I needed it, the message jumped out strongly at me.
We all need to be bonded, attached to somebody. We want to belong to.
The yearn for the bonding and attachment is the yearn of love. The need to be loved.
Perhaps why I've been feeling a bit "dried-up". Not even making enough effort to bond and attach with the ultimate Lover of all. I missed the Love we shared. And definitely thirsty for more human love, to be bonded to friends and loved ones which I should be to cultivate a more healthy being in me.
Shall make the extra effort and constant reminders..!
But for now...I think I need to replenish my sleep and energy first.
And start exercising again to pump my blood to my heart better. +D
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Journeying with the youths...
Initially thought of as an easy-peasy task...
I mean, how hard can facilitating be?
But I was proven wrong.
Assigned to a group with pretty closed-up and quiet 15-yr-olds,
I was given a immense challenge to melt those ice-bergs
and make them speak to me.
(Context: Sec 3 catechism class - T3 Bible Timeline sessions)
Then there's the RCIY.
Excited and hopeful, to journey with the youths.
But then end up feeling apprehensive.
Perhaps giving myself too much unfound pressure and expectations.
Ought to let go.
So...I've decided to offer up special prayer intentions for these 2 group of youths.
Prayed the rosary, went for adoration in church and fasted (not the food type) for 1 week.
Learning to trust and depend on Him.
And ta-dah!...He answered my prayers!
And of course I also told myself to make an effort to prepare my facilitation well.
Today, my group just left me dumbfounded/speechless for a few moments.
They are really something......springs of living water waited to be tapped and to irrigate the dry lands.
Just wanna pen down 2 memorable replies to one of the questions I've posted to them:-
Q. If you get to meet Jesus face to face today/right now, what would you ask him?
One goes...
I'll ask Him..."how did you manage to pull through the '14 stations of the cross' on the way to Calvary?"
and another one goes...
"Am I doing enough (as a Christian)?"
....
...
wow....
I shall continue to fast and pray for them.
I last session with them this coming Sunday.
Hope it will leave further impressions on them.
I think I'm benefitting more from them, then them from me.
I mean, how hard can facilitating be?
But I was proven wrong.
Assigned to a group with pretty closed-up and quiet 15-yr-olds,
I was given a immense challenge to melt those ice-bergs
and make them speak to me.
(Context: Sec 3 catechism class - T3 Bible Timeline sessions)
Then there's the RCIY.
Excited and hopeful, to journey with the youths.
But then end up feeling apprehensive.
Perhaps giving myself too much unfound pressure and expectations.
Ought to let go.
So...I've decided to offer up special prayer intentions for these 2 group of youths.
Prayed the rosary, went for adoration in church and fasted (not the food type) for 1 week.
Learning to trust and depend on Him.
And ta-dah!...He answered my prayers!
And of course I also told myself to make an effort to prepare my facilitation well.
Today, my group just left me dumbfounded/speechless for a few moments.
They are really something......springs of living water waited to be tapped and to irrigate the dry lands.
Just wanna pen down 2 memorable replies to one of the questions I've posted to them:-
Q. If you get to meet Jesus face to face today/right now, what would you ask him?
One goes...
I'll ask Him..."how did you manage to pull through the '14 stations of the cross' on the way to Calvary?"
and another one goes...
"Am I doing enough (as a Christian)?"
....
...
wow....
I shall continue to fast and pray for them.
I last session with them this coming Sunday.
Hope it will leave further impressions on them.
I think I'm benefitting more from them, then them from me.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
It's April...
Same old saying,
"Time flies".
Overdue Lent/Easter reflection
Overdue retreat sharing/postings
Proscrastination and Distractions
Feels a bit out of control
especially with recent chain of events
of joy and of sorrows
of laughter and of tears
with fleeting hearts at moments
and down with heartaches other times
Roller coaster ride indeed
with Jesus sitting by my side
I scream
I laugh
I cry
I lament
I give praise
I thank you
I want to embrace you
and seek refuge
Can I be in my cave?
Or must I be "dead" so that you can call out,
"Lazarus, come out of your cave!"
Why me?
Why not?
Must I?
It's your choice.
Can I not choose?
But that's the gift from God.
I can't wait to get to the end of this ride.
Will Patience do the trick?
Head spins
Mind entangles
Heart wrenches
Not again.
Taking a deep breath
the breath of life which God gives
reminding me of who I am again
A child of God
Who is being loved by Him
even when the world does not understand
Forgive me Lord
For I knew not what I'm doing
And you have redeemed me by your flesh and blood
I need to break through
I need to see beyond my suffering
So many hearts out there hungering for You
And we are your instrument.
Focused mind
Peace in the heart
Love through my words and actions
Uphill tasks
only made possible through prayers
and it shall be...
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Hello 2012!
Grateful to have this chance to park myself in front of my laptop to do this entry.
So...what's my report card for 2011?
Managed to dig out my journal...
"Checked":
- Choice Retreat made a considerable turning point for me and hence allowed me to communicate better and show more patience and love to my parents, and beloved, M.
- Supposed to go personal retreat but ended up at Vocation Retreat. It was not in my plans, but still it was a great retreat which opened my heart to many things.
- Successfully stepped back from music ministry and also trained potential musician. So glad that Beatrice is now on her own and able to provide the necessary musical support.
- Finished up my Europe photo album. But now I've got one more to go, the WYD/Spain album.
- Yeah, went WYD and travelled Spain.
- Attended EE with Moli
- Bought my long awaited baby - Korg digital piano
- Also got myself a great 2nd hand compact camera, Lumix LX-5
- invested in a couple of good shoes
the "unchecked":
- Family trip to S.korea postponed again. Nvm, 2012 it's gg to happen!
- Failed to learn how to make rice dumplings from mum. Try again this May?
- Exercise once a week - only fulfilled for the past 1 month while training for my ippt.
- To journal at least once a week. Haiz...I think I only journal during retreat and adoration.
Still, I think I'm blessed with so many things despite some of the "loss" and suffering that I went through in 2011. It's been a great year of learning, humility, discernment, spiritual milestones, steep learning curve at work along with increment monetary reward. And having just passed the IPPT awhile ago, I'm thankful that God blessed me with a healthy and fit body.
Picked out a heartening quote from one of my 2011 blog:
"You will find more peace in a vocation if you have a confident sense that you sincerely explored both primary vocations and finally chose the one that you feel called to." - Brian Butler
So for 2012...
here's my "bucketlist" (you never know when God will call...)
- Exercise weekly!
- Looking forward to a transforming and healing experience at my personal retreat in Chiang Mai in March
- To realize my handover plans in the Young Adult Ministry
- To be able to work out my plans to form a one-off catechism children's choir to sing for 1st Holy Communion Mass and a one-off catechism youth choir to sing for Confirmation Mass. Challenging but kind of excites me.
- If the time is right, shall attend CER.
- Looking forward to a memorable family trip to S.Korea in April/May...Spring!
- At work, to pray for yet another exciting and interesting project after my JCube is completed. (hopefully not as taxing)
- Good-to-have trips...go Tibet with Justin and Ivan.
- Finally, to take that leap of faith to make that Life's Decision.
Side track...
Hymns that I wish to be sung at my funeral Mass:
- How Great Thou Art
- Song of Farewell by Ernest Sands
- Ave Verum Corpus by Mozart
- Prayer of St Francis
- You Are Mine
- Psalm 27 - The Lord is my light and salvation
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)