It's a difficult week.
Physically...which affects the psycho-spiritual aspect of me..
Just wish I have more time and faster ability to solve the design issues at work.
Praying for more strength to pull through this month, most importantly not to fall sick.
Somehow during low periods, I was able to hear Him more clearly (at times) too.
And sometimes, what He has to say to me is so "in the face". Just wish to share a few key "insights"
...
Friday, I rushed down to RCIY from work, more than 45mins late, but thought I should make an effort to just be there. No regrets. Then went up to the Yg Adults where they were listening to Fr William Goh's talk on Mass. Something he said struck me, made quite an impression.
FWG advocates LISTENing to the word of God proclaimed at Mass, instead of following the text and reading them. The power of Listening, which many have lost the "skill". This is how the holy scriptures were preached last time and people listened. To listen, one has to internalise and interiorise, and..Focus. Many a times, we might be just Hearing. Are we good listeners or just mere hearers? Do we listen to ourselves, to God and to others? At Mass today, I tried to practise listening to the Word, close my eyes and listen. Though a bit tired and sleepy already, it does help a bit, to not look at the words, and just practised a bit of Ignatian contemplation, to picture the scenes and the dialogues. Certainly more reverent, meditative and peaceful.
I thank God for giving me the gift of listening (hopefully not just hearing), providing an avenue to unload for my friends. And I appreciate those who have bothered to ask, listened to me and allowed me a chance to share and unload too at times.
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Social Mission Conference 2012
Decided to sleep in and reached there during Tea Break. So needed that sleep.
But something happened to me the night before.
After church on Fri night, went home, bathed and was having my dinner in front of the TV, a bit worn out.
Halfway through my meal, a TV commerical of a programme which features a man (an Asian, Singaporean?) who uprooted and went to live with a improverish/needy community somewhere in Africa or something, and I think his family is staying there with him. Suddenly, I felt a gush of emotions and I couldn't helped but started to choke on my tears. What's up???...Perhaps I was touched by the compassionate act of that man, perhaps deep inside me, I really want to do something meaningful and what is needed out there. It's a call deep inside which I don't know what is it yet but I also know it's not a time to give up anything yet. Perhaps I can't let go and totally let God take control. But well, must meet the practical needs first I guess...Maslow Hierarchy of Needs...=P
So...going for this SMC meant a little something different after this brief emotional episode the night before.
To sum up and hopefully remind myself of what I take away from this conference:-
- Partnering the "poor" - empowering them instead of just giving.
- Social enterprise seemed to be the big word. For now, I'll just support them.
- Are we confident enough to receive? kind of like this phrase...we always think that we are better-off and only need to give.
- M.Teresa said, "God called us to be faithful, and not successful." And we must be faithful to our deepest calling in our hearts eventually. Perhaps when I meet my next "crisis", I might know what this deepest calling is.
There's so much we (I) can do to help, but.....
Like what Sr Geraldine jokingly shared with me, when are we not busy? there's no where in the corner of this Earth where we can be not busy...we are constantly in distress, and only sitting in front of the tabernacle can we only find ourselves at rest.
...
Am reading the book on "Changes that Heal".
Haven't touched it for a few days coz too tired to read on the train.
So I flipped open I think 2 days ago. And just when I needed it, the message jumped out strongly at me.
We all need to be bonded, attached to somebody. We want to belong to.
The yearn for the bonding and attachment is the yearn of love. The need to be loved.
Perhaps why I've been feeling a bit "dried-up". Not even making enough effort to bond and attach with the ultimate Lover of all. I missed the Love we shared. And definitely thirsty for more human love, to be bonded to friends and loved ones which I should be to cultivate a more healthy being in me.
Shall make the extra effort and constant reminders..!
But for now...I think I need to replenish my sleep and energy first.
And start exercising again to pump my blood to my heart better. +D
