Mum felt utterly frustrated over his never ceasing grumbles
So were my sister and myself
Dad just can't seemed to see beyond this accident
that it's was a blessing from God and a lesson too.
His heart is "too small", cannot let go...as what Mum said.
He's greedy and not easily contented.
Always saying "what if", "if only".
As a poor graduate, I've lost $900 over a flight cancellation.
And just a few years back, I damaged my sis's car and also
forked out about $1000. I guess these were the
two major monetary losses I've incurred.
It was painful and without Christ and the Spirit working in me,
I wouldn't have healed so quickly.
And to see beyond all these losses...
that I'm able to drive ever so safely and more focused,
that I'm able to take failures and loss more bravely.
Now following this Korean drama online
Talks about two extreme ends of lifestyle
One is the struggling working class
the other is the top echelons...
all struggling to either climb up or to stay up there.
Can understand how is it like that
every dollars and cents make a difference to my life
Though i'm not born with a silver spoon
I'm blessed to be able to do a lot of things
throughout my 26years...
graces from God...
sometimes i almost emptied my savings
just to fulfill some travelling plans
and of course some careless overspending at shopping...
I still survive.
I'm not sure if i'm wrong.
To try to lead a life that's beyond my capability...
that i'm a overspending and not having a healthy savings record.
Many people cast doubting eyes at me
when they hear that i'm taking a break..
a break that might last a year...
before I go and land myself in a full-time job
for a Masters graduate.
I judge and think that they must be wondering
why am I so slack when everyone is trying to make a living?
Closed ones might wonder why am i not eager to work
and quickly share the responsibility to take care of my family...
my dad and mum...and also give them allowance.
The unspoken pressure is there...
And walking in the opposite direction of the norm
to defy what society has made us..to be economic machines...
Is really not easy.
In name I'm taking a break,
and I'm really resting...
enjoying the work i'm doing in church..
but i'm also wary of the time lag...
that i might lose the competitiveness and
"freshness" of my skills...
Am i just thinking too much,
over-worrying...
yes indeed perhaps...
Well, since i've discerned to do this
and I've prayed about it.
I shall just go on walking this path with faith.
A different kind of cross to bear..
though i'm glad the academic cross is out of the way for now.
No comments:
Post a Comment