Surreal...

Yea...my frens shld be lining up to go up to the stage

for that brief moment

to receive a scroll

after 5 years of hard work

And here I am

in my home clothes

sitting in front of my laptop

facebooking

and gg to watch some taiwan drama on youtube

Sarah must be grumbling that I din go down and

take photos with them...

well, many will say "Nah, it's just a ceremony."

But I guess the way we're brought up in S'pore,

everything is about ceremony, being ceremonial

Being honoured and credited on stage

and doning the ceremonial gown

means a lot to many, and esp my parents.

And perhaps deep down inside, it meant a lot to me too.

Having led a meritorious secondary and JC school days,

stage "appearances" and ceremonies were norms for me.

And after this 5 years of Uni, and thesis.

I'm really tired.

Tired of this race and competition.

And praise God for pulling me out from this

And I pray that I'll continue to listen to You

and trust in Your ways.

For I know and believe that

You have the best of interests for me

I might be struggling financially w/o a full-time job

but i can live contently

live within my needs and not my excessive wants

I might be slowly losing my drive as an achiever (in society)

but i could be moulded into something better

that He could use me

I might be waking up w/o an alarm clock

taking breakfast and reading papers for 1-hr

and having no fixed schedules for the week

and sometimes staying up late to youtube

But I just pray that I'll be doing meaningful

things in the midst of these

Having time to work on music compositions

and to spend more time on parish/youth work.

Am only into the 1st month of my break...

and I only hope and pray it'll get better

To really get the break I need

To recharge and renew myself

To broaden my horizon

See and learn more things

Reach out

and to build a strong connection with God.

Hearts on Fire Youth Rally, 11th Jul 09 @ CJC