A blessed "ordeal" last friday

(LISS - Life in the Spirit Seminar)

Hi Martinus (group facil),

Just wanna share with you something.
Hope you have the time to read this. Not too long lar...

After your very spirit-filled and empowering sharing with me that Sat evening at Teresa's place,
it gave me a major "headache" actually which left me with a big dilemma. But it was a good headache. In fact, it's a wake-up call to actually answer myself what is truly preventing me from going for the retreat.

I went back home, feeling really burdened with thoughts, feelings and decisions to make.
I was tired and decided to sleep early. Before i slept, I pick up the handout that Br Emmanuel gave us. I read it. It then dawned upon me that i've been so silly all these while. I asked myself this question, "Why am i so stupid?" The fact that I want to go for the retreat is to have "Freedom". And to really experience this gift that He'll be giving me. I've been asking and seeking all these while, and then in the end, i held back. I just broke down and cried.
There and then, I can really feel the Holy Spirit speaking to me and the gift of reconciliation that He is offering me. I could feel the yearning of Him for me to go before Him and seek forgiveness, to just "let it out", so that He could grant me the peace and comfort.
This experience was heart-wrenching, but yet beautiful.
It opened up the doors in my heart and empowered me to seek this reconciliation.

It won't happened without LISS and without you talking to me.
I do not feel stress anymore.
My heart says, yes, i will go for the Sat's evening session and will stay over till Sunday.
But also, I will not feel disappointed if I can't go for it in the end due to my commitment in church.
All i need is just to create and find another opportunity for me to reconcile with Him and experience the fullness of the HOly Spirit. Actually, what i really need now is a good confession.

So yes, the following day, i went church to see if there's any possibility that i can go for the retreat.
My youth ministry's retreat still stand at 5-6Sep and on the 6 Sep we have a youth mass (6-7pm). Unfortunately, Moli supposed to play for the mass but she's at the retreat, so we got a stand-in organist to play. The youth choir that'll be singing is also newly-formed. First time doing it. Looking at this, I really need to be back for the youth mass to hold the fort.
On Sunday, 7 Sep, similar thing. It's a stand-in organist and I'll need to work out the psalms with her and to be present for the practice in the afternoon.

Seriously, I would have felt very stressed that the situation doesn't seem to allow me to go for the Retreat's Sat evening sessions. But He has showed me the way and that he has opened doors for me...perhaps i can't enter it for this LISS retreat, but I will in the near future.

....He has transformed people in different ways, and for me, weirdly, even before the retreat started.

Sincerely,
Michael.